The problem with girls...

After 4 years specifically dealing with girls, (I was in a girls' school, mind me) I realized that we, the females species, have a common problem--- it's really hard for us to say the word sorry.

I was 11 when I was so certain that this friend of mine, Yen Yen, was my best bud. Since I got into secondary school a year before she did and that we lived in 2 different hostels, we seldom met. Phone calls became fewer after sometime and there came to a point when she would find excuses not to talk to me. Hurt, I decided to leave her alone and yeps, she didn't do anything about this too. Met her in the bus a couple of months later and I was too proud say hi to her, so was she.

Four years later, I felt like an idiot and I swore that I should apologize to her otherwise I would regret it for the rest of my life. Upon apologizing, she became really nice and eventually though we didn't contact each other often, I could see how much she missed me.

The same problem happened to me and my best pal, Bertsie. Towards the end of our secondary school lives, she suddenly distanced herself away from me. Believing that I didn't do anything wrong to her, again, I disregarded my instincts and left it that way. Till my last day in Singapore, I hadn't spoken to her for weeks and I felt bad. I wrote a long letter, saying how much I had treasured her as a friend and I did say sorry if I had offended her in any means. Left the letter on top of her bed, printed my email add on the letter, hoping that she would send me an email. Nope, it was an empty hope. Though I was a little discouraged, I decided to give her a call when I had a transit in Singapore...and I found out the truth after several awkward emails later. She thought I was jealous of her results and she believed that I wouldn't want to befriend her because of that. Wow...I told her how hurt I felt coz she just distanced herself out of a sudden and I had tried my best to tell her how sorry I was, only to get criticism from her on why she believed I was jealous of her. And guess what? We're the best of friends now.

Phew...to think about this, I'm always been the one who gives in whenever there is a problem between me and a girl. I might have been the troublemaker, but when I was so sure that I wasn't the culprit, it's still me who apologized. Strange enough, the word sorry would break the ice and the girls that I had problems with would tell me how much she treasured me as a friend and how sorry she was for not approaching me first. By then, sadly, I would have been gone from that place.

Since this has happened a few times, I have had enough. When I turn really unreasonable towards Han, I would expect him to apologize. It's a total taboo for me to even admit that I'm wrong, though I'm darn sure that I'm the one at fault. I must say Han's pretty patient in dealing with me and he's told me so many times. I can never live like this with people. We have to solve these problems upfront and not delay any further. It doesn't hurt to say sorry, though you're not at fault. You really have nothing to lose. But I guess the childhood trauma still haunts me and since he's one of the few special people in my eyes, I expect him to tolerate me in any ways. Phew...don't worry guys. I will still continue to initiate the apology whenever I have a problem with a girl, but it's time for me to treat Han fairly too. Poor boy, I think he's suffered enough emotional breakdowns dealing with me.

Anyway, for all my gal pals, it really doesn't hurt to say sorry first. In fact, this word is so powerful to the extent that you definitely have a more enhanced friendship with the person whom you have problems with after the confrontation. Good luck!