finito!

truly speaking, i had no clue about mass transfer operations. just glimpsed through my notes and nothing seeped into my brain. be prepared to get a just pass or maybe a c for it. sigh. now, i got 2 courses which i dread a lot, while the other 6 went okay i guess.

so, so...latest update: indeed, i am going to travel in 2 days' time. my schegen visa is out and that sorts out the entire woes of this trip. and it's going to be a tightly-budgeted trip considering my debit card from bank one has expired. there's no way am i going to get any money out of it. and i am afraid since czech and hungary are still developing countries, they don't have that many shops that accept credit cards. ya, i am going to bring extra cash just for safety. wish me safe trip, pals!

i've started packing up for my trip back to purdue. my god! an entire suitcase 30 kilo worth of books and notes. and to think that i might have to let them go by next year. i do hope everything would fit into my 2 suitcases. 25 kg is the maximum weight per luggage, but i am gambling the opportunity of stashing extra 5 kilo of stuff on each suitcase.

strangely enough, many of my friends are getting married! both of my churchmates, who have dated their boyfriends of 1 year, have decided to end their singlehood next year! but but...i am just shocked! true, both of them are 25 this year, a sacred age to actually get yourself hitched, but isn't 1 year a short time to know the person whom you're gonna spend the rest of your life with? and considering this is the first year i started getting wedding invitations, (hirro's wedding this june 26th. i love hirro and dan! dan actually was away in iraq for 2 years. glad he's back and now with hirro :D) i am slightly petrified. yes, i am 20...but i am pretty sure there will be people of my age who would be getting married. that reminds me that i am no longer young. but seriously, i still can't put a guy in my future. i am still the selfish brat who plans for herself. maybe time will change my mind later.

but looking at the history of my cousins, many of them are still unmarried at the age of 30 and yes, aunts would be worrying about their fates. some would go to such an extent of finding a guy to be matchmade to their daughter. if i would be a 29 year old single woman, please mom...no random guy for a blind date at our home. it just shows how incapable i am in finding mr right and plus, i guess these days women are more independent. they could survive on their own.

there'll be bbq tomorrow :) my first and last one. i think it would be a parting goodbye time with the 2nd year students. had fun meeting them at science library's 3rd floor for the past 1 month. hope the weather's conducive for the event. and yes, i've bid my farewell to bengkalis. she's going home for good. don't know when i'll see her again, but hey...god forbids...we met after 5 years of not contacting each other.

the smell of freedom is so close, yet...

4 days to go, and i can't hardly wait! the last paper on the last day of the 3 consecutive exam days was tough. slightly petrified, but i hope i could manage at least a b (or a c? dang it!). heard that many people didn't feel that it was hard. crashed to bed after that paper and again the sleeping syndrome overcame me today. didn't get any work done again. :(

you know, time will fly really fast after i am done with exams. am off to travel to salzburg, vienna, budapest, and prague. back to london on the 3rd. and gone again on the 5th to travel to oxford, cambridge, stratford, (where shakespeare was born) and stonehenge. by the time i am back, it's already the 9th and i got 1 day to visit some places i've never been in london like science and british museums. hectic, hectic, hectic!

i am still waiting for the schegen visa from austrian embassy. hopefully it'll be out soon. in the meantime, let me get some motivation to learn things on process dynamics and control + mass transfer operations.

you know how to hug an elephant, but how in the world do you love your enemies?

yes, it's adapted from pastor ron's sermon this morning, which touched me deeply.

so first of all, how do you hug an elephant, or...as a matter of fact, how do you hug any animal which is huge in size? it's easy...in the case of an elephant, you start off by hugging its tail, and then its legs and last but not least, its trunk. slightly unbelievable, but they're still counted as hugs right?

now...how do we define an enemy? a person who always gets on our way...basically, a person who makes our lives miserable. and as human beings who tend to have negative thoughts, we just go straight into the assumption that he or she is a bad guy and that there's no point in creating any friendship with them.

a young man came to pastor ron and told the pastor that he hated this guy for pursuing the same girl.

'she is a knock out,' says the young man. 'you'd definitely like her when you see her.'

'so, how about her heart? is her personality good?' pastor ron asked.

'i have no clue. i just know that her appearance is great.' the man replied.

'how about the other young man? do you know him? is he a nice person?' pastor ron again asked another question.

the young man went into deep thoughts. the next afternoon, he decided to have a lunch with the other guy and they hit it off. the girl? they decided she's not worth it.

and how do we treat our enemies? yes, it's okay to take no action, to ensure that you don't have anything to do with him or her. but being withdrawn isn't enough. when the enemy needs your help, help him or her with all your heart. just as what the bible says, if the enemy slaps your left cheek, give him the other one.

i know it's a very hard concept to grasp. i have a hard time dealing with my enemies, but i am glad that i did not retaliate against greg when he made me feel like a stupid person. and now? he treats me like a real friend, and i am really glad.

so, when you bump into this person whom you hate a lot, give a smile and say hello instead of walking off.

last one standing

first, it's buncit. and then, nug's gone for good. now the one thing i dreaded most finally came---roommie's gone! :( yes, i guess i will start from 0 again when i come back to west lafayette. but, congrats, dear roommie! you're finally a fresh-graduate engineer now. make sure you meet all the specifications of your machine or whatever plant that you're working on. don't wanna get fired. haha! but she's coming to visit us anyway, so nah...aside from being slightly upset that our proximity is gonna be a barrier of being together to have some fun, (from pilates to elvis concert) our friendship will last forever. you shall attend my wedding and i shall attend yours yeah? (am waiting for the wedding bell. i think it's soon :P)

but little things did cheer me up. here's nora's latest email:

Melisa Lisa Bo-Bisa
Banana Fana Fo-Fisa
Me Mi Mo-Misa
MELISA!

good chant, huh? exam studying makes one a nutter. going to the chem engsports/bbq day thing on the 23rd? greg and i were thinking yeah. we'll be back by 7 and then quick pack and bed cuz WE'RE GOING TO AUSTRIA on 24th.
where the hills are alive.
with
the sound.
of music.

-nora,nora,bobora, banana, fana, fofora, me, mi, momora, nora!

i swear i will miss her a lot once i am done with ucl :( (sigh...again, it's separation time)

and another news...

i thought hirro was joking when she asked me for my address in london, and guess what? i received her wedding invitation a couple of days ago and it's on june 26th. haha! this time, i DO have to shave and make myself look pretty. yes, hirro! i am coming to your wedding!

all bad things have to come to an end and are replaced by good news. yeah!!!

Melisa Lisa Bo-Bisa
Banana Fana Fo-Fisa
Me Mi Mo-Misa
MELISA! (it's getting on my head)

cell phone

i am raging in anger now.

waited for the cell phone to be returned to me, repaired. 2 weeks of anticipation and mom's constant complaints that she couldn't hear my voice clearly. everything went down the drain.

the phone was returned, but still as dead as before. so how about my postal order of 11 pounds and 75 p in which i had sent the repair company? 'oh i am sorry, mdm. if you want your phone to be returned back, that's the handling fee that you've given us.' what the hell!!! i thought that money would go to the repair (coz it's beyond economical repair and the waranty didn't include that) and i'd get my phone safely. darn sony ericsson! darn service center for taking my almost 12 pounds for sending me back a phone!!! i only spent 1 pound to send the phone to them! they ate my money!!! *cursing* now that i've spent 60 pounds total for this phone, (50 for the purchase and 10 for the 'handling fee') i think i would pay for 1 more new phone to just get it repaired. i swore to myself, no more sony ericsson for the rest of my life! 2 failed phones of the same brand and i got enough.

so what's my next plan? back to my old nokia, which still doesn't work well in my dorm. (coz it's us-based and the frequencies are different) rely on it for the next 1 month till i get back to us. and i just hate it when people on the next table are happily yapping away loudly (even regarding their schoolwork) while i am there, trying extremely hard to concentrate. i can't take it!!! god!!! i hate it. i hate it. i hate it. when simple things simply don't work. i just feel like screaming at people. argh!!!

hair

one thing i do not like being a woman is that i have plenty of hair. it's totally acceptable to have hairy arms, but people normally snicker at the thought of women having hairy legs. yes, i am one of those few ladies who can't be bothered to get rid of my bountiful hair on my legs. that's why here in london, i don't wear any shorts though the weather's getting nicer these days. it's london...people look at you and expect you to have smooth legs. otherwise, it's their disapproval glance that would kill you.

my self-confidence level was normally pretty high until this afternoon. i was wearing a 3/4 khaki, which showed one-forth of my hairy leg and this curt bald middle eastern just commented in front of my face, 'hey, your legs need to shave!' i just kept quiet, which i guess was the best thing to do at that point of time. a few seconds later, i totally regretted what i did. first of all, what sort of english is 'your legs need to shave?' darn balding guy! how i wished i could just tell him off, 'first of all, my legs can't shave anything. they're meant for walking. second, should you care about my business? i am the one who has the problem. i am the one who might suffer from humiliation. should you care at all?' and i guess i got pretty traumatic after that. i guess the 3/4 khaki would be in my wardrobe till i get out of london. i remember wearing shorts during summer back at purdue and i felt great. i do hope this accident won't make me traumatic for life. not while i am overseas.

right at this point of time, i have this thought that i would set up my own thing once i graduate. not that i do not want to continue what my parents have been doing. i just see myself in so much disagreements with them. they are very controlling (in terms of fundamental things) and they always see me as a naive person. they're so afraid that i am making mistakes. mistakes are good. they shape me into a better person. i've been foolish all my life, but no...i am not so stupid to an extent that i am aimless and i would just fall apart without them. i don't know. sometimes i just feel i am in so much pain when i am home. i don't get any freedom. in speech. in terms of going out. in doing what i like to do. maybe it's better for me to start from 0 and be on my own and get my freedom instead of helping my parents, getting more than enough financially, but inadequate emotionally. sometimes, i wish that i could be an american kid. yes, i'd be burdened by college loans by the time i graduate. but my parents would give me support in my decision-making. they'd let me fall and learn from my mistakes. not the i-told-you-so when i fall. okay, i am thinking too much, but i do feel grateful to have been all around the world. singapore, usa, and uk. a very small percentage of people in the world could travel as much as me. maybe i am just longing for the rightful freedom that any 20-year-old could easily attain. i do hope my parents would loosen up as time goes by.

speaking of which, i think my long term goals of getting married by 25 or 26, settling down, and having kids might be put on hold. yes, i still have so many years to go. my future might still be uncertain. but it seems like a guy who's on the same page as me and who could accept my traveling habits, my stubborn and daring nature is like an animal who's going to extinct. i don't care whether my cousins are successful, (one of them, who's younger than me, would be graduating at the same time as me. i do hope parents won't comment much on this) while i might be struggling over what i am doing. never mind the comparison, but it's the fact that i am doing what i love to do is the main key.