rainbow

sky's getting dark when i walked out of my apartment to drive to hunan gourmet to get kung pao chicken take out. on my 20 minute drive, rain started falling and the radio announcer warned about the possibility of tornado in our area. upon getting out of the restaurant, the downpour became heavier and by the time i was on the freeway, the visibility was so bad that i had to adjust the wiper's speed to the highest. when i was approaching my exit, the dark clouds suddenly cleared out and the sun reappeared from behind the clouds. downpour dwindled to drizzle. the best part of all, i saw a nice array of rainbow painted on the sky. such a breath-taking view. i was immediately reminded by how god has worked in my life. everything used to be smooth and dandy in the earlier part of my life. later on, i was faced with failure in health, followed by school, and then career. but through each tribulation, god has brought me a step closer to him and the outcome is always much better than what i have expected. just like the appearance of rainbow during this thunderstorm, unexpected, yet beautiful.

just as i was reflecting on this, i almost had 2 near-accident encounters in dc. the first one was in front of the parking lot of jefferson memorial. i was swerving to turn into the parking lot (almost missed the entrance) when the car that's getting out of the parking lot didn't realize my intention. i was so certain that my side would get hit, but it didn't happen. four hours later, while trying to go to ci elis' hotel in rosslyn, i accidentally turned into the opposite direction 1 way street! i panicked for there was an upcoming traffic, but all other vehicles seemed to understand and slowed down to allow me to do a complete u-turn to be in the same direction as theirs. again, another badly needed rainbow in my life. thank you, lord!

i have also become acutely aware of how little humility i have. i've been having difficulties loving an indian co-worker who's always saying things more than needed for the sake of acceptance. ironically, i myself am a victim of self-assurance. i always try to connect all conversations to my realm. it's all about me, me, me! argh!!! don't like it! just happened to read our daily bread and stumbled into john wayne's quote "talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much." precise and to the point. the best part was the conclusion of that day's quiet time: "lord, set a guard upon my lips, my tongue control today; help me evaluate each thought and watch each word i say- hess." how true. how very true.

short temper

didn't enjoy last night's work. first, a simple recipe fix that went awry just because the feature being measured was too big. following, my carelessness cost me another 40 minutes before realizing what i tried to achieve was for a future process step. argh!!! i felt like screaming and walking out the door. my human nature kicked in and i felt like blaming others. of course my first target was the guy who asked me to look into the future process step. he was just a messenger who's doing his job, why must i get so mad at him? i did have a few bad encounters with him which definitely clouded my judgment and caused me to doubt his intentions. it's quite silly when he never realizes my grudge against him while i've been keeping tabs of him deep within.

it's time to let go, mel. i need to learn to take things easy. i think i may have issues dealing with people who have dissimilar personalities from mine, or i'd rather say, those personnels who are beyond my tolerance threshold. i've been acutely aware about how horrendous i treat those that i don't care for. again and again, i'd feel guilty and try to patch things up. i thought i'm mature for my age, but i'm not.

lord, give me more understanding of how great and vast your love is, so that i would love those around me and don't fret over worldly things that may not matter in comparison to your big plan for me. in the meantime, i'll try to keep my mouth shut (instead of voicing hurtful opinions) and work toward becoming more compromising toward others, especially those who need extra grace.

kindle and little sis

got a surprise no-occasion gift from sis: a 3g wifi kindle! i was actually anticipating for a package that i bought online, but upon seeing a rectangular box, i was definitely confused. when i retrieved the beautiful black reading device from the box, i was even more amazed. how many more venture capitalists would want to invest in buying my wish list stuff? apparently now that i am single, it's my dearest sister. (it used to be han who would be striving to get me things that i loved despite my not asking for them)

the funniest thing of all was the sweet little message she gave along with the kindle: "sis, just some random days. you've wanted this item for such a long time. there's still time for you to download books you'd want to read. enjoy! :)" i could feel my face heating up and ready for the outburst of tears. such a nice little girl. despite my constant nagging and pushiness, she loves me just the way i am and is so thoughtful to even spend her meagre pocket money on something that would cost her 4 months of rent. as i am experimenting with my future favorite electronic device, i definitely don't regret getting it recently. sure, it doesn't have the color technology yet, but i don't think i'd be needing that except for reading magazines. love the sample book chapters. as soon as i am done reading my paperback books, i shall start downloading e-books.

i am truly proud of little sister. sure, she has a shortcoming of being too agreeable to others, up to a point in which people can take advantage of her. but our sisterhood is never that complex. i'm the more controlling between the two and always want things according to my plan (a.k.a self-centered?). she normally takes my opinions highly and my short temperedness lightly with a grain of salt. that way, i don't throw more tantrum if i'm not being listened to. sister, being more indecisive, would turn to me for life-changing decisions. due to my common sense and assertiveness, she'd find comfort in choosing the better option and is no longer being tormented by choices. i have to say that we do have excellent dynamics as sisters and partners.

now that she'll be starting her working days during summer all through december 2011, i am even more excited for her. it's a new life in which she has to exercise discipline in getting up early, cooking for her lunch box, and realizing that her knowledge will bring impact to society, not just pseudo-solutions for what-if dummy scenarios. i really wish her the best. we may not make it to yellowstone due to her new job, but i am sure we can work something out.

again, thanks sis for the kindle and for teaching me lessons of life throughout the 20 years i've known you.