there's a beginning and there's an end

i hate farewells.

whether i'm bidding one for loved ones or people whom i just know for a matter of days, i would get overwhelmed. there's some level of uncertainty when i would get to see them again. i know the technology has made the world shrink, but again...it's still up to us to decide whether we should keep in touch or not. i don't know whether i am indeed bidding farewell to some people forever, out of their lives, or it's just for a temporary of time till we meet again.

but hey, that's why there's nothing absolute in this world. (except for those school-related equations invented by some genius fellows) and that actually brings more excitement to my life.

after a long day of school and you go home to discover that your high school friend has successfully published a book. you are a new student, entering the dining room and to your disbelief, you see an ex-hostelmate whom you haven't met in 7 years.

the europe trip was a good event to close the year. actually, i was a bit of a loner during the trip. yes, i did enjoy it, but i thought i didn't make many friends by the end of the tour. i sent a couple of pictures to some people and i thought that would be it. but guess what? within days, i got an invitation to go for new year countdown with 4 of them. (and i didn't even talk much to them during the 13 day tour!) i would be meeting my ex-tour roommate before she's heading back to the mainland in mid-jan. interesting? yes!

within the span of 2 days, i conversed in chinese continously, (you know how little i speak in mandarin) and you know how chinese people are. they tend to tell you directly how they feel about you. by the second day, people have told me that i am a person of a substance and they're glad to have known me. boy, the europe trip didn't just end on 29th of december. in fact, it's just the beginning of my friendship with some of the people in it.

as i was about to bid goodbye to my tour mates, again this feeling of loss dissipated in my mind. i hugged all the girls and wished them well. when it came to the only guy among us, i shook his hand. but to hell with it. we just cut the formality and gave each other a bear hug. not forgetting that we did a three peck french greeting, signifying how we respected each other as new friends.

a big toast to new friendships and of course the beautiful beginning of 2006! woo hoo!

random entry

did the coursework with a fellow affiliate student, an austrialian guy called ben. a very nice guy. i know i am really slow in processing information and he would patiently explain it to me. but one problem! big bad mouth odour! but surprisingly, i could take it. i couldn't take greg's though. (the purdue guy) i don't know whether this has anything to do with my dislike towards him. but maybe that's why :P

so guys out there who happen to read this entry, (probably none) brush your teeth twice a day please!!! it's quite an experience trying to concentrate on our conversation while trying to put up with the smell. i am polite, but it's just a distressing fact that guys have bad mouth odour. (or only those in my major?) okay, think of this. how are we supposed to kiss you while we can't take you within the radius of 1 meter?

okay, aside from that bad joke, hoho...count down to my europe trip. 3 more days guys! *brimming with exuberance* i am so ready to go! yes, i got a company, the myanmar guy whom i have never met before but sort of talked to recently. at least there's somebody to take pictures of me. :)

but i am going to miss nora's birthday party. argh! i guess i'll have coffee with her on friday before i leave. present's ready too. i think she'll love it. oh ya, nora's the first friend i have who's into sports. she joined soccer and track team. unbelievable right? look at me! i can't even get my butt off my chair to go to the gym. have promised her i would renew my gym membership once the new term starts. actually, i have to thank cedar for all the sports appreciation that i got for 4 years. otherwise, i think i would have ballooned up long time ago.

as the year is coming to an end, i have thought of ending my relationship too. he's a nice guy, no question about that. but, i've grown so dependent on him, something that i detest. plus, i think i have been blinded by love. i would drop off everything, including pretty important school work to help him. nah, never abandon my school work. i would just sacrifice everything for him. and, take note of the next few sentences. he knows his priorities. he knows he needs to get done with his work before making sure that i am fine. eventually, i would be totally disappointed. disappointed of how much effort i am putting, while i always see why he doesn't do things to me. *he does do things for me. but i am selfish enough to disregard them* well, i think this would be the most unfair thing i have to a person, but sometimes i need to get my thoughts cleared up. i am pretty negative that it's going to end. but i guess the europe trip would help me get away from him for a while. and hopefully, i shall see the light.

2006, here i come. the year i will turn 20. the year i will spend in london, west lafayette or mississippi? (depending whether i could get into the research program. i shall apply soon) the year my brother's going to graduate. (again, he outsmarts me. this is the second time he's graduating and i haven't even got my first degree. that's why i don't like it when people graduate. they'll depart and i am not even quite done with my course) but i am definitely sure that it's going to be a great year :)

taken from my ta's blog (translated from chinese) : when you're down, cry your heart loud. when you're done with crying, wash your face and give a gentle slap to yourself. tell yourself what your goals are and soar up high to get them. but remember, when you're high up there, you have to look down on the ground where you begin your journey.