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i had margarita with teammates last night when jarrod told me this, 'mel, i think you've developed the most out of this trip.'

it's a compliment, i know. but was i a horrific person a month back? well, i knew i was a tad pushy toward my teammates in order to get our tasks done. but i guess you can only see a reflection of yourself through what other people say about you. you can't pat yourself on your shoulder once everything's done according to your will. some people may not be happy and they choose to be quiet since they don't expect to ever see you again.

and then travis added in (after our conversation about different levels of social classes in various countries), 'i remember the first time i had a class with you, you told me that i certainly came from the lowest class of society.'

i was totally in shock. i really didn't remember ever saying that to anyone. granted, i am very very blunt. but i don't give such uncivilized comment. i immediately apologized to travis. and he spilled the beans that he wrote about the low class comment that i made on the first group analysis paper, of course with an additional note that it may very well be a language barrier or just cultural difference. and i was thankful that he told me this, 'i used to hate you very very much before the trip. i didn't know how i could stand to be with you for 3 weeks. but thank goodness, you've changed.'

hmmm...as i thought about this last night, i realized that travis did make a point. i could be really selfish when i had to. yes, it's for the sake of everybody, but my selfishness encompassed people's understanding of why i wanted to do things in a certain way. i've learned to let things take their course. i have chosen not to be too controlling anymore. and the best part of all...i have more confidence in others.

humility. why does it take a lot time to learn it? i guess god wants me to learn how to get the taste of the delish cookie in my tongue, chew it, churn it, and finally take a gulp of it. one thing at a time. then the big picture will be right in front of my eyes. :)