christmas is just around the corner

i am not an extraordinary writer. but i love writing. you just have to sit down, think of what to write, and start typing. i am thinking of making a submission for exponent's end-of-semester literacy issue. hmmm...still not quite sure on what to write, but if i don't have enough time, i will send one of my blog entries which i found to be quite inspiring.

and...christmas is just around the corner!!! i've been humming christmas tunes. am listening to instrumental version of white christmas. loving it! i remember spending christmas somewhere in austria last year. felt pretty empty coz i normally went for our family gathering, and then had some quality time with cousins, not forgetting the solo performance on 1 christmas song. yes, pretty embarrassing, for i do not have such a wonderful voice, but hey...you get to flaunt off your vocal talent only once a year.

aside of that, i shall not look too far ahead to christmas. thanksgiving is just in...let me see...5 days' time! planning to have the traditional american feast, but i think it's still questionable coz leaders' meeting is going to be held on thursday. not many people may turn up since they'll be busy preparing for the meeting. and i don't want to be left with plenty of turkey to be eaten for the rest of the week. the drowsy effect is unpleasant.

shopping? yesss!!! am planning to buy some body splash for sis who's stepping into adulthood and is curious about beauty products. aside of that, time to relax with my 'family' out here. :)

daylight saving time

today's the second day the clock's turned back by an hour. and it seemed so bright at 0715 in the morn! was glad that i could 'gain' an extra hour of sleep on the first day daylight saving time took effect. not bad! :D

anyway, been detached from this blog for quite a bit. went to do some stuff that i have been dying to do before i graduate:

1. attend amy tan's book signing. yes, she's at purdue. yes, shame on me for not reading any of her books before. (well, i did watch her joy luck club movie) yes, i have bought her book. and yes, another shame on me for not touching it despite having it for almost 2 weeks.

2. trip to cedar point. this is the best amusement park i've ever visited! the rides are all equally good! you name any scariest rollercoaster rides, they have it. go before winter starts. they only open during weekends during this period, but less people come. but, do bring your hoody and never wear slippers! (don't be like me. barefeet while being swung about in the air)

3. pumpkin carving! kaka! trick is to ensure that you remove all the pumpkin fillings coz they make carving difficult. here's my prized possession:

4. cooked some interesting indonesian delicacies. we've tried croquettes, risoles, bola-bola, pastel, cold roll. frankly speaking, i am done with deep frying. kitchen's become so sticky. and found sesame bagel with garlic cream cheese to be utterly heaven!

5. got to know my small group girls better. hmmm...interesting to see how each individual differs from another. ii is sometimes afraid of not saying things right. qing knows the clear line between right and wrong, but sometimes she can be slightly aggressive. nini chooses her principles by trials and errors and how i always yearn to be (sorta) the center of attention. we have a long way to learn about one another, but am glad that there's no superficiality.

other than that, there are some good news too:

1. granpa's become great granpa. greato! i do hope his spirit of life will be improving coz he's been negative thinking for the past 3 years.

2. guyfriend's starting to open up. i know i can be harsh at times whenever somebody needs comfort. i need to be able to offer advice, yet make the person feel better, instead of even worse.

3. mom's finally gone to zhong guo, the first overseas trip since 2004! she did need some relaxation. i would have gone nuts if i were at home the whole lot of time, just concentrating on work and kids. hah! am looking forward to having my 4 kids.

4. was being really positive towards uncle and family when they were here at purdue. despite their curious nature, (which normally irritates me easily) i was able to carry myself well. great job, mel!

happy halloween, everybody!

sis' birthday!

happy 15th birthday, sis! love you always. you're one of a kind, and boy...i am so grateful to have you. you show me how to be patient, you appreciate my opinions and take them into considerations, and you're fun! hope nasi tumpeng is coming on your way :P (though i won't be able to savour it with ya)

on a side note, remember how parents keep on telling you to concentrate on studies first and not really have a boyfriend during your high school year? (which eventually stretches all the way to college) i think they're right. relationship does take a lot of time. you only have 24 hours a day. school takes about 5 hours per day, left with 19 hours. additional studying outside of school requires about an hour per day. that will be about 4 extra hours, subtracting that from the remaining hours, we only have 15 hours left. and don't forget about spending your leisure time, or cooking, or having an extra task such as doing a project which shall take care of another 5 hours. and you need 8 hours of sleep everyday. you only have 2 hours, which are intangible hours that you have no clue what you spend on. in my case, i watch king of queens reruns at 2 am most of the time

and let's compare it with a person whose boyfriend is indeed physically there. it's a basic fundamental rule to meet each other at least once a day. some even go to an extreme that they should even meet each other for lunch in school. after school? let's study together, in which 3 out of the 5 hours are unproductive because he's your boyfriend. unless you guys are at least 100 meters away, it's barely possible for you to focus on your work, coz you keep on thinking, duh! it's bf right in front of us. tired of school work, let's just talk about life. by the end of the night, not only are you behind your readings, (well, you gain better understanding about your counterpart, a plus point) you panic that you don't have enough prep for the test in 2 days. that proves one point: relationship does make your time management skill suck.

yes, i sorta regretted for jumping into a relationship in which the timing wasn't perfect. (it's sophomore year and i gotta take thermodynamics and organic chemistry) not that i am cocky, but i am sure that i wouldn't have to take organic chemistry 2 if i did focus on it. first, it's already a fact that my understanding on all these alkene, pyridine stuff wasn't all that great. added with my lack of interest to pursue this further, i was not only behind...but way back to the extent that i was the last few people in class who had no absolute clue about what fuchs talked about. ahhh...people would normally say this once the outcome's done: how i wish i had ... (fill in the blank) in my case, i don't have any remorse feeling. yes, i will take organic chemistry 2 next semester, along with my senior design project, lab and separation class. quite a heavy load of work i assume i'll be having. but boy, am i glad that i come to realize about the conflict of time management with relationship.

distance sets two persons apart, which is both pro and con. on one hand, i am able to pursue what i want to do. no need to reserve a time slot in which we shall have boyfriend girlfriend rituals. reading ahead of class is something that i finally got to do this semester. and guess what! i am finally reading materials that i used to love! (not just textbooks) yeah, nostalgic moments do happen from time to time, especially when you look at other couples on campus. but he raised a good point a few days ago: will our feelings be gone considering we only meet once a year? i really have no idea. i've been so driven by school that he's slightly off my priority list. do i care about him? of course i do. but friends can care for each other right? there's no difference between friends and special friend then. why bother having a relationship?

coz i want to feel special in the eyes of that somebody, not just as a friend. well, certainly, if you feel that you guys have nothing in common anymore, then it's better to drop it. it's of no use to continue a relationship that's not developing, but deteriorating. people get together because they share common values. he feels that you fill in his gaps, while he covers for yours. but once 2 people are set apart, (especially when the cultures are completely different) their mind sets might be heavily influenced by their surroundings to the extent that you feel things might not be the same anymore. in this case, both of you shall consider whether it's time to move on or stay strong.

i'm not quite sure how mine is working now. before he raised that concern, i didn't think of it much. now that it's brought up, i'm bothered. but i still want to be the special one in his eyes. so, i guess i'm just having my girly emotional side kicking in then. whatever the outcome of this is going to be, i think i shall do just fine. :P

funny little sis

found her blog from friendster and i had a look at it. oh my! darn funny! here's an excerpt:

funny things happened today.....on "pengembangan diri" lesson,the sister gave us a song....there was a part of that song that sounds(what is berbunyi in english???):SAILING SAILING HOME (3x)and....u know, my father's name is CELING.....and it sounds almost the same...so the boys sang that part more loudly than othe parts of that song....funny isn't it......hahaa...dad, you're popular among my friends....even they give you a cool nickname: WOLVERINE!!!(because of ur "jambang") hahaaaaand hans created a song titled cingcangCELING!!! (from a sundanese song titled CINGCANGKEULING)....but it's ok.....when they tease me....it means that they care about me.....that's why, i've never been angry to someone who teased me.......dgn syarat, ngledeknya msh normal.....bkn nyindir.......weks!!!!

wah! she's full of life. i am glad of her. i thought under mom's totalitarian parenting, she's quiet and submissive. but i guess i didn't know her well enough. i can't hardly wait for her to come to us and talk to her everyday. it'll be marvellous!

no man is an island

just talked to my mom and she told me about big brother who just got to beijing. being an individualistic, he immediately resented the idea of meeting up with our cous, who is currently studying at qing hua. (who happens to be 3 years younger than him too) and guess what? he realized that he had no clue about beijing, so he did eventually get in touch with culim and finally did get some insights about where to eat, where to shop, where to get good deals, etc.

ah. my bro. i think in a way, i resemble him a lot. i don't like seeking help when i am in trouble. if things don't turn out right eventually, that's the very last resort whence i'll helplessly ask for help. it's kinda stupid considering you've wasted so much energy and time being so individualistic and having it your way, and it doesn't end up as what you've expected.

i've learned to soften up a bit though. when people ask me whether i need their help, most of the time they do know that i've tried my very best and am still nowhere near the solution. being stubborn can become a hindrance, but i am learning to go easy on matters. i actually love senior year. all the people try to get productive and they're more focused on work. things get done quicker and all meetings do bear some progress on our projects.

anyway, i do hope bro will change his mindset. i think it's the family thing. mom's like that, though dad's not as prideful. hmm...we got heavy influence from mom then. coz i think bro's good in terms of business techniques, but he has a long way to go in terms of people-people relationship.

commencement!

yeay! perfecto timing! i just checked bro's academic year. his commencement date's going to be may 6th next year, while mine's 5 days later! plenty of time for parents to attend both. i am so happy!!! no more weird incidents like having to renew passports and thus resulting them to miss the graduation ceremony. i have to say, i can't hardly wait for 9 more months to come. :P slight uncertainty of my future, for sure...but hey, it's my turn to finally wear that cap and gown and say halleluyah to the mighty chemical engineering.

labor day's next monday. a long weekend. a good time to relax for a bit. this week's been a hectic one. group meetings. paperwork on car to be done. gmat oh gmat. i have to start touching you if i want to go to a good business school.

missed the study abroad fair. was there on time as scheduled, but the bad weather postponed the event. the guy in charge told me it'd be good if i could come back an hour later. but full-of-excuses me decided to take 2 glorious hours of nap. been having erratic timing to sleep. don't know why i am so hyperactive at night, while i continue yawning away during classes. such a nocturnal. aside of that, work's been great. been catching up with classes. i still love marketing game. finance is still on the topic recapping the engineering economy class i took ages ago. reminds me of that ie professor whom firo and i kept on guessing on his age. nah, estimated to be 73 years old, but his movement and the way he talks just age him so much!

you know, sometimes i hate myself for giving the impression of being such an arrogant person who doesn't speak much in front of new people. but an hour or two later, after these people try to make conversations with me, i will be more comfy and share more about myself. why can't i just be outgoing from the very beginning? saves all the awkward silence right?

yard sale

yep, i participated in the yard sale this morn. pretty successful. most of the stuff desperately needed by new students were sold out quickly. there was price confusion, like selling a bunch of hangers for $5, (which didn't make sense) but everything's finally settled. rejoining permias activities was fun since i am an extrovert and i haven't really taken part in any extracurricular activities for the past 2 years. but not many people knew me. some of them even thought that i was singaporean. haha! told you guys in the previous entry. i could pass as any nationality person.

amidst my junior peers chattering and playing around with the furnitures, i felt so alone. and suddenly i just missed him a lot. i started wondering how on earth i could be by myself for a year and so now. and when i was feeling that way, my itune music was supportive towards my mood. it's playing frank sinatra's it's the way you look tonight and the duet song of barbra steisand and brian adam, i've finally found someone. haha! i guess i was feeling mellow. but remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder. the fonder it is, the better. :P and better level of separation too.

and just like richard marx and donna lewis' song, at the beginning:
life is a road and i want to keep going
love is a river i wanna keep flowing
life is a road now and forever
wonderful journey

marketing class

out of the 6 classes that i am taking this semester, i truly enjoy the marketing class. the instructor is probably the best chinese teacher i've had and he allows lotsa interactions in class. (and we do interact most of the time considering participation points are included in the final grade) i think my marketing group's gonna be superb since everybody seems to get organized pretty quickly. let's make this semester a smooth-sailing one!!!

i am pretty pleased that the people that i left voice messages earlier this afternoon called me back promptly. nora's in florida right now, spending time with her columbia roommie. didn't get to cedar point last week since i was so drained out of traveling and i didn't think 11 hours of traveling on greyhound's fun.

should attempt to go for the 0730 class tomorrow. have never learned biology all my life and this is going to be a challenge. (especially for the fact that i haven't even touched the book) the aspen tutorial's postponed to tuesday, which is great news. btw, most indonesians actually don't recognize me when i am in their classes. that's interesting. i do pass as another nationality person. cheers to my tanned skin and of course my westernized sense of fashion. :P

2nd day of school!

new semester. new haircut. (which looks good :P) new bunch of people in class i have no clue about. gotta wake up early most days coz the day starts with either a 0730 or 9 am class. bro's leaving this weekend. i am hoping i could help out in permias' garage sale this friday and i might be off to indy tonight for sana's birthday celebration.

haha! lotsa info to digest right? so what's my resolution for this semester? work hard for the semester coz i am taking all elective classes. i hope they'd boost my gpa. have to start applying for mba programs. am still not ready for gmat!

virginia is just a countryside (sorry, roommie! but it doesn't really have much things. good japanese food though) but dc is a metropolitan city. (of coz, it's the capital!) was at u of maryland. yearned to go there. beautiful campus. nice gates surrounding the school. will strengthen my leg muscles if i do get accepted there. gotta go up the hill as you go for classes.

as i get to know firos better, i begin to stop gossiping about people. she makes sense. why would you talk about somebody if it's none of your business?

inner vs. outer beauty

a recent kompas reader's article triggered me to blog this. for guys, this might not affect you that much. but i am sure that all ladies out there believe that beauty is an important aspect of their lives.

so, let's start off by comparing 2 girls, one is tall, slim, has distinct features, but has foul mood. (aside of the terrible temper, she's a nice person) another girl is just a normal average girl, you won't notice her if there are a lot of people in the room, but once you talk to her, she gives you the best impression of all. smart, polite, and knows how to participate in conversations. if a guy were to choose between these two totally repelling personalities, which one do you think he will choose?

i can tell that most guys would choose the first girl. why? that's because of her outer beauty. guys think that there's nothing that could be done to the normal looking girl. she will still not be able to stand out in the crowd, while the pretty girl is still the center of attention. and another thing with guys is that they think practically. foul mood? guy believes that through progression of time, he will be able to change her and tada...what more could you ask for a girl besides outer and inner beauties?

yes, life's unfair. many of you might fall into envious mode towards those pretty friends of yours who seem to be able to get it all. that's why you shouldn't compare yourself to the normal standard of society. if you fall for that, you will never think that you're good enough for anybody. the result? you'll pull yourself into deeper misery.

you gotta know that all of us, handsome, pretty, normal looking or not-so-nice looking, will turn into wrinkly old people with no hair and no teeth 50 years down the road. no one would be outstanding then. everybody has about the same features, and why bother to get the best looking companion if everybody ends up to be the same?

granted, the pretty girls have advantages over getting more good looking guys or in some cases, both good looking and wealth-off guys. but i am sure that not all people buy the social standard. some people do look deeper into inner beauty of the opposite sex before deciding whether they want to spend their lifetime together with that person. so what should an average normal person do then, to at least survive in this double standard society?

1. do take care of your outer appearance. i am not saying that you gotta make yourself look good in front of the opposite sex, but first and foremost, you gotta ensure that you have good hygiene. basic simple rules like taking showers at least once a day, brushing your teeth, combing your hair, and putting on deodorant if you realize that you don't smell that great definitely help.

wear nicer outfits if you are invited to parties or formal social events. during normal days, just be yourself. wear something that you're comfortable in, but at the same time, have acceptable appearance, in which people wouldn't snicker at you.

for girls, there's no need to wear heels to school. i've tried wearing heels for 12 hours and it doesn't work. if you're uncomfy with make up, then don't. and an extra info would be, take care of your skin. i gotta admit that guys do take a good look at your face. put on hairband if you realize that you have oily hair which could contribute to the number of pimples on your face. have some lip balm when your lips get slightly dry. other than that, you're good to go :)

2. a good way to improve your inner beauty will be to reflect on your mistakes (based on your character) and try not to do them anymore. one very important aspect is forgiving. have you forgiven the person who had hurt you acutely 5 years back? do you do revenge? forgiving is the hardest thing i've done all this while, but once i've approached that person, apologized, and be friends with her again, (well, you might not be the best pals like before) you will feel at peace.

spending your quiet time each day does help. as i am a christian, i like to close my eyes and pray to god about what i have done today. is what i have done morally right? i ask Him to give me guidance throughout this process of learning. for those of you who are still seeking god, spend 15 minutes being alone, away from your laptop, close your eyes, listen to soothing music while pondering about what you've done today. it does help to relieve your stress and you be a better yourself next time.

to conclude, i do care about my appearance, but i do think that inner beauty is a more important aspect to look at. i'd rather have a guy who's not great looking but cares about me deeply instead of a gorgeous guy whose giving me pet peeves all year round.

be brave, my friends! you're your own standard. no one shall change you coz you're who you are.

new roommie!

new roommie's finally arrived! she's from a small region in china called guizhou. a simple, yet nice girl. she brought me a chinese decor and a scrunchie. how nice! and she asks me questions when she doesn't understand certain things. that shows that she believes that there shouldn't be any barrier between us coz we're of different nationalities. that's terrific!

been catching up with my sleep today. had to check for book prices at university bookstore, give away some of the egg tarts to pals, and it's pouring cats and dogs. perfecto timing to sleep! am planning to make pempek palembang with firo tomorrow. please, don't let it rain! just ruin the mood to cook something delish.

i made up my mind. i am taking an 11 plus hour greyhound trip to sandusky, oh to meet up with nors and go to cedar point. initially, i thought it'd be a wasted trip considering it'd be a day trip and look at how many hours i'd spend on traveling time. but i don't know when i'll be going to cedar point in the future...plus, i think my communication with nors would be slightly cut off in the last 2 semesters. well, we made plans to go travel after we graduate. i still believe that we will keep in touch after years...but it's going to be hard to meet up given that we're at different schools and different areas.

am so darn lazy to start studying gmat. i've got the book since 3 weeks ago, but i've only started skimming through it today. i shall go to the library to try to concentrate on studying. i am pretty much set up for fall semester, but i imagine people in my year would give me weird looks when i get back to school. they'd be wondering where on earth this girl has been for the past 1 year. kaka! it's london...and you've missed a great deal of experience since you aren't there.

enough of this. too much rattles tattles and one advice for those people who are willing to wear high heels for the entire day: don't! you're doing your feet some damage. been there, done that. i gotta say that it's not a very nice experience.

envy

i've been thinking a lot about myself lately. am i a failure? while people around me are getting internships, earning really good grades, getting well-paid jobs, i am doing things that i was doing back in freshman year. taking classes and doing things that i enjoy most.

i know that i am a person who doesn't go by social standard. by that, i mean i don't follow what the normal people do. i've been emphasizing on my quality of life. who knows i only have a couple more years to go for my life? no one knows. but, sometimes, my principle foundation just goes shaky and i start questioning myself: am i a failure? while everybody else has been earning income, i've earned none since last summer and am planning not to have any source of income till i graduate. not that i am too lazy to even seek for jobs, but the workload for my last 2 semesters are going to be tremendous and i don't want to pull down the grades that are expected to crash if i just don't study.

i don't know. i am just upset that i am not doing as well as everybody else. or is it envy? but yes, i do have something in mind of what i am going to do after i graduate. i do hope that everything goes smoothly. not a very ambitious plan, i think...but at the same time, this plan involves earning my own bucks, giving something back to the people and of course improving my quality of life.

you know, i keep on telling people not to follow what others do. set your own standard (but not too low) and pursue what you love. you might get down by what others do, but you just continue doing what you think is right for you. now that i think of it, it's right...but why am i feeling this vulnerable?

i am not a loser. and i think i can do my parents proud. and i shall prove that to mom and dad soon. wish me luck, guys!

missing girl

a girl whom i've known for quite a bit went missing. apparently, she didn't contact anybody, including her family, after her graduation. her parents only knew that she's about to have internship in indianapolis and then she just went out of touch.

the weird thing is that people are trying to find her through mailing lists, which may not be all that effective. i am not very close to her. in fact, the last time i saw her was probably last spring, having lunch together at htm cafe. where are her friends? i am pretty sure that she does have a good bud at purdue. i mean...will 2 good friends be completely out of touch after college is done? people were informed that she actually left some of her stuff at somebody's place, but i bet he or she has no idea where she is now.

the thing is...i got a cous who died without anybody knowing about it. she led an individualistic life i guess. she seldom phoned her parents and i guess she didn't really know her next door neighbors all that well. how did they find her? neighbor complained that there's terrible smell coming out of her apartment and yeah, no one knew the exact time she passed on.

that's why i just hope and wish that ade's fine. it's better to know that your friend elopes instead of having the same tragedy like your own cous. i am going to try to contact the iss office, see whether i could get the company's contact number where she works at. i shall go to her ex dorm and find out whether she has a forwarding address. i hope it's not going to be a futile effort.

for pals reading this, do pray for ade. she's only 22. she has a future ahead of her. wherever she is, may she be safe.

cooking is heaven!

2 more weeks to the end of summer school. i realize that skipping classes becomes a norm after being in london. it's so hard to keep myself awake at 9 in the morn! and believe it or not...i got a 0730 class for 3 days in a week next semester. good luck, mel! either you'll continue having this skipping classes habit, or i do hope they do have incentives (like quizzes) to motivate me to go to class. but don't worry guys, i don't just stop going to classes. the pattern has been one absence in 5 days. i hope my record won't be blemished coz i am still determined to go to all classes for the next 2 weeks. (who knows the instructor might tell us things we need to know for exams)

anyway, surprise...surprise! i've finally found pleasure in cooking. it turns out to be easy! right now i don't even want to eat out unless i am absolutely lazy to cook. well, the troubles with cooking my own meals are that:
1) it takes at least 30 mins or so to perfect the food, and i don't have the time during normal semesters.
2) i don't like left-overs! when you cook for yourself, you tend to have the same stuff for the following meal...and then the following lunch and dinner. by the end of the week, you get so tired of what you cook, off you go to any fast food joints!

i can't just ask cheetah to have this joint partnership of cooking again. i mean we'd be busy during normal semesters. but let's see. i still have a lists of dishes i want to cook. the more the merrier. at least, i am getting more and more womanly. kaka! which is a good check list to get a good husband. just like a saying, 'a good way to impress a man is by filling in his tummy.'

so, anything new from me? roommie came to town and she treated me all the time! that's the the power of being employed. :P thank goodness, she's gone...otherwise i'd be a panda right now. we could talk for hours and lights would only be out at about 4 am. whoa! but i'm going to visit her between 12th and 16th of august. this time, she'll the one who's gonna be extremely tired considering she has to work and i am still having my hols. :D

and speaking about roommies, yes...i dare say that i finally found a roommie! a phd student in food & nutritions from china. she doesn't seem like the type of person who'd run away from the lease. (unlike my supposed-to-be next roommie) i do hope that we'd become good pals. so far, the closest chinese friend that i have is yin yan and oops...i have promised to see her one of these days, but i never did! bleh! no more excuse. i should give her a surprise visit this friday.

jay's leaving for maryland too. :( seems like everybody's moving out of purdue. that got me even determined to get done with purdue. 1 more year, so it shall! and then adios, this small town which i've called my 2nd home for the past 3 years. actually, west lafayette's not all that bad. i've met some of the most wonderful people around. so better start appreciating my last 2 semesters here.

sleepo time, ciao!

unpacking

had the time of my life and decided to redecorate my apartment. my room used to have so many extra furnitures from dearest roommie, but i managed to scatter them around the house. my room's finally back to my style, simple and plain. (which according to roommie, is totally boring)

did unpack the 2 boxes which had been lying there for almost a month. found a mug i bought from disney world 2 years ago. took out my eccentric purple stereo and aside of all the dust it's been collecting, it's still working perfect. saw the green ugly googles which i have had since 2003, and thanked myself for still keeping it since i need to take another chemistry lab. found this small christmas mug received from vina as christmas present. there were actually 4 of those, with different characters on each mug. and yes, my ex roommies took 1 each and now that they've all graduated (and aren't gonna live with me anymore), my mug's the only one surviving in the living room. and i digressed.

i am still not letting go of those fond memories. memories in which all my good pals were around. but you know, this is always been the cycle. you feel lost at the beginning, you meet up somebody just to pass time, realize that you grow close to her, confide in her, and when the time comes, it's time to let go. but i am pretty sure that sometime in the future, i will meet up with them again, and we'd have the best times of our lives.

it's all about the summer!

thumb's up to summer! weather's just right. i could finally cook some dishes from my recipe archive. (yes, try www.foodnetwork.com. a very reliable site to find recipes) i could just leave homework and readings at the very last minute and finish them all before midnight. (imagine doing that during full semester? i am not going to sleep!) i could go to corec and do my running routine. (25 laps this time. hopefully, it's attainable) i could watch king of queens episodes and laugh like nuts without being haunted by work. best of all, the gameshow network at buncit's place! that's like heaven. i could spend hours trying to figure out the lingo puzzles and who wants to be millionaire questions without doing any other thing. summer is about killing time. (not wasting time, mind you :P)

my results from ucl turned out to be decent, and i thank god for that coz i do not have to worry about graduating later than expected. which means...*drum rolls please* i could minor in management as well as do my senior year without feeling burdened of taking the classes that i thought i might need to retake. well, slightly hellish senior year, but still manageable. wish me luck, guys!

another update from me---i might not have a roommie for the next 2 semesters. the supposed-to-be roommie of mine stood us up, but well...i am still trying to find one and to think about it, living alone might be fun, especially you might want to be on your own when you have your free time.

imax theaters are great! huge screen, excellent sound system, and of course the 3d impact. those of you who have the chance to go there, please do so! it's slightly more expensive, but worth the money. one advice though, do come 1/2 an hour in advance! i practically had to angle my head 120 degrees up for the entire 2 and 1/2 hours of superman returns since we came exactly on the dot.

my reflection on this guy with 1 jutting out pony? (wondered why.) these days, these superheroes movies focus on our psychology thinking and it's not exactly my thing. the guys thought they're awesome, while i think they're way too draggy. it's one's preference actually.

and while so many people want to go to chicago or indy for their holiday getaways, i am getting so tired of traveling! maybe that's because i didn't have much break in between my uk travel and coming back to purdue, but really...the idea of sitting at home, cooking some new dishes and watching gsn looks more appealling going to places 3 hours away from here.

and mom's officially realized how lonely she is without us kids. now that sis is doing her homestay in us and yongma's gone to attend somebody's wedding, that's actually a good prep when the real thing happens. soon she'll realize how fast we grow and how we could stand on our own two feet.

wedding + in america

as what i've mentioned in the previous post, i had to attend a wedding. the first one in which it's addressed to me, not to my parents...and i was excited about it.

it was a traditional, simple yet elegant wedding. i got teary minutes after the bridesmaids entered the hall. my mascara was already smudged by the time hirro and dan started exchanging their wedding vows. and that moment actually stirred me. yes, i do want to get married. i want to silently cry in happiness while citing my wedding vow. i want to proclaim to my dear ones how much i love my man. it's not happening anytime soon, rest assured, but when the time is right, i am going to do it. and before that time comes, i am hoping i will be able to attend several weddings and get teary all over again.

i've been watching several movies these days. not that i am completely free, but i just want to get rid of these dvds that i borrowed from cheetah. and i've been seeing movies in theaters too. i guess i am enjoying the privilege of seeing a movie for 1/2 the price of that in london. i shall say that french movies have weird (or shall i say different?) ways to convey their messages. i found amelie intriguing, though plotwise it was meaningless. a very long engagement was very draggy, though the message was clear---if you have faith in your loves ones, whatever you've hoped for would come true. i like he loves me, he loves me not though. solid storyline and the frenchman was so good in creating a situation in the perspective of a man and a woman.

will i watch any other french movies? well, not right now coz it normally takes all my concentration and sometimes it would turn out to be disappointing. but i guess i have to find those which aren't starred by audrey tautou. she tends to star in uniquely artistic movies which focus on human behaviors.

and i just watched in america, which was recommended by nora. it's pretty heavy, so i suggest you guys might want to watch it when you don't feel stressful. it's about an irish family which migrated to america, filled with hope. part of the reasons why they decided to settle down in america was that they wanted to put into past the memories of their son/brother, frankie, who had died of brain tumor. life's tough...they were penniless, their neighbors were mostly drug addicts and the mom was expecting a child who might die if she's born too soon or endangered mom's life if she came out late.

despite their relatively difficult life, the 2 daughters always looked at things in positive manner. they talked like adults, and the dad always tried to please them though he barely made the ends meet. the parents were blaming one's self for their son's death, but the oldest daughter, who believed that god granted her 3 wishes, wished that her mom and dad would put aside the thought of frankie and move on. the wish came true and the movie ended with the mom and dad hugging emotionally, realizing that the newborn daughter was there to replace old memories of frankie.

what a beautiful movie. somehow, it's a cliche of the movie it's a beautiful life, but it's in today's era. sometimes i wonder whether such a family exists. a father who always tries to spend quality time with his children. a mom who lets her children raise their concerns. daughters and sons who would not cry over toys, but ask questions like adults. i don't think i was like that when i was a kid. i guess struggles do give wisdom, not only to adults, but also to children. if your life is just like a straight 100 mile highway without any turns, i bet you will not learn as much.

am back!!!

yes! safe and sound, despite having a few uneventful things along the way.

first, i got detained while going through the immigration section at o'hare. well, my i-20 form's signed by purdue's international student counselor last august and it's valid for a year. however, most students actually get out of america for a short vacation and they're normally back in 2 or 3 months' time. looking at my case, the officer thought i had actually graduated and came back using my student visa. minutes crawled as i was brought into this tiny room where another officer looked at my record and finally realized that i was still a full-time student at purdue. sigh. the down part of being an international student who went for an exchange program.

walked out of the arrival hall as happy as a bird for i was so close to smelling west lafayette. had lunch, went home, and hung out with buncit and cheetah that night. everything went fine till the next morn, when i discovered that my passport and i-20 were gone!!! whoa!!!

unpacked everything, searched high and low and finally told nug about it. he's the one who took all the information regarding whom i should contact if these most important docs happened to be gone forever. called o'hare's lost and found. no one called back despite me leaving a voicemail. called buncit. he left for 1st day of work and wasn't picking up the phone. at this point, i was on the verge of just accepting the fact that i might just apply for a new passport and obtain a new i-20 form. but there's no way i would obtain my us visa in america and for that fact, i would have to stay here till i graduate and then reapply for us visa after i graduate. (if i want to go to graduate school) thank goodness, later that night, buncit called and told me that my dearest passport's in his car. phew!!! i-20 form's gone though. but i couldn't imagine how mad my parents would be if i lost my passport. it's like a deja vu. a year back, a few minutes before taking my train ride to jakarta, i just found out that i couldn't find my passport in my purse. alas! it was in my large suitcase, burried in one of the plastic bags containing my medicine supplies.

and how are classes? tight schedule i suppose...and taking 2 economics classes at the same time can give ya a headache coz one's supposed to be the prerequisite of the other...but at least i could get this entire subject on 2 points' of views---miniscule and broad. so far so good, but this jetlag's been sucking all my free time. other than that, time's been spent with meeting friends who'll be leaving west lafayette for good. one's off for internship in indy and another one's gone to dallas, tx. whoa!!! so many people got interns this summer! felt slightly ashamed that i am still stuck with summer school.

off meeting sana now :D glad that this week of class is finally over.

my room

i was packing and i saw how empty my room was. it's the place where i've slept, dined, watched dvds, crammed for exams, listened to radio, brushed my teeth...basically, my life after going to classes. and i couldn't believe i'd be leaving in less than 48 hours. i am grieving over it. and i don't think i can bring my tripod. 2 gigantic suitcases, 1 sling bag for baby vaio and a backpack for my passport are enough to keep me occupied. i am so going to miss this place. true, london can be a hostile place, but when you've been in this metropolitan city long enough, you'll learn to give it a smile and not take it too seriously.

how i wish i could write a little note in a corner of my room, with this saying: 'this room has witnessed every single history of mel's life between 2005 and 2006.'

adios, room 224, ramsay hall! adios, london! thank you for giving me sweet and bitter memories. i shall treasure them for as long i could remember.

i don't want the whole world to see me, coz i don't think that they'll understand

an earthquake just engulfed jogja a week ago. and i didn't know about that till i received a friend's text message asking me whether my family was okay.

for those of you who are concerned, thank you so much! :) my family's fine. we live in a small town between the border of west and central java, while the earthquake took place in jogja, the eastern part of east java.

i remembered one of the contributors in 'our column' on kompas.com. he's from bantul, the area where the impact was the greatest. he often wrote about his childhood in bantul. where he used to hang out during his grade school days. which food stalls to take note of in case any readers wanted to travel there.

but i guess everything's turned into dust now. i am still not updated about how many people have been killed. i heard the governor of jogja is still deciding which international volunteer organizations should take part in restoring jogja. dang it! help keeps on coming, but you still have doubts in it? i don't think that these foreigners want to be illegal immigrants in indonesia. i don't know what this guy is thinking.

and deep down inside, i feel sorry for these people. i want to help. not just by donating to any organizations. i want to be a part of this team who's there to do all the work...digging all the rumbles, carrying rice sacks, consoling those who have lost their families. and i simply can't do that. just because i am far away from home and that parents will definitely go against it. not that i am all gungho about making a difference to the world. i want to help. as much as i could. to the extent that there's no way i could do anything and remorse takes over me. that's how much i want to help.

and my adventurous nature vs. his concern over me has always been an issue. i travel not because i want to let others know how many countries i have travelled to. the smell of challenge conquering a new country has always been my interest. and not that i want to be different from the rest of the world, i am simply the black sheep of the white flock. i think differently. everybody thinks about safety. i think about when i will ever do it again. people think for their best interests. i try to put others before me.

but he sees me as a foolish person. who's too stubborn to listen to his precautions. who's selfish enough to put aside his worries for what i am keen in doing.

i don't give up what i do for a man. a man that i am fond of. not that i am selfish. i think liking a man and your adventure without any clashes is doable. and if he can't accept just the travelling bits, how about my intentions of doing what i could for the world? i think that would be beyond his scope of tolerance.

we can't continue shouting at each other for different idealities. it simply doesn't work. and i grieve over that.