a recent kompas reader's article triggered me to blog this. for guys, this might not affect you that much. but i am sure that all ladies out there believe that beauty is an important aspect of their lives.
so, let's start off by comparing 2 girls, one is tall, slim, has distinct features, but has foul mood. (aside of the terrible temper, she's a nice person) another girl is just a normal average girl, you won't notice her if there are a lot of people in the room, but once you talk to her, she gives you the best impression of all. smart, polite, and knows how to participate in conversations. if a guy were to choose between these two totally repelling personalities, which one do you think he will choose?
i can tell that most guys would choose the first girl. why? that's because of her outer beauty. guys think that there's nothing that could be done to the normal looking girl. she will still not be able to stand out in the crowd, while the pretty girl is still the center of attention. and another thing with guys is that they think practically. foul mood? guy believes that through progression of time, he will be able to change her and tada...what more could you ask for a girl besides outer and inner beauties?
yes, life's unfair. many of you might fall into envious mode towards those pretty friends of yours who seem to be able to get it all. that's why you shouldn't compare yourself to the normal standard of society. if you fall for that, you will never think that you're good enough for anybody. the result? you'll pull yourself into deeper misery.
you gotta know that all of us, handsome, pretty, normal looking or not-so-nice looking, will turn into wrinkly old people with no hair and no teeth 50 years down the road. no one would be outstanding then. everybody has about the same features, and why bother to get the best looking companion if everybody ends up to be the same?
granted, the pretty girls have advantages over getting more good looking guys or in some cases, both good looking and wealth-off guys. but i am sure that not all people buy the social standard. some people do look deeper into inner beauty of the opposite sex before deciding whether they want to spend their lifetime together with that person. so what should an average normal person do then, to at least survive in this double standard society?
1. do take care of your outer appearance. i am not saying that you gotta make yourself look good in front of the opposite sex, but first and foremost, you gotta ensure that you have good hygiene. basic simple rules like taking showers at least once a day, brushing your teeth, combing your hair, and putting on deodorant if you realize that you don't smell that great definitely help.
wear nicer outfits if you are invited to parties or formal social events. during normal days, just be yourself. wear something that you're comfortable in, but at the same time, have acceptable appearance, in which people wouldn't snicker at you.
for girls, there's no need to wear heels to school. i've tried wearing heels for 12 hours and it doesn't work. if you're uncomfy with make up, then don't. and an extra info would be, take care of your skin. i gotta admit that guys do take a good look at your face. put on hairband if you realize that you have oily hair which could contribute to the number of pimples on your face. have some lip balm when your lips get slightly dry. other than that, you're good to go :)
2. a good way to improve your inner beauty will be to reflect on your mistakes (based on your character) and try not to do them anymore. one very important aspect is forgiving. have you forgiven the person who had hurt you acutely 5 years back? do you do revenge? forgiving is the hardest thing i've done all this while, but once i've approached that person, apologized, and be friends with her again, (well, you might not be the best pals like before) you will feel at peace.
spending your quiet time each day does help. as i am a christian, i like to close my eyes and pray to god about what i have done today. is what i have done morally right? i ask Him to give me guidance throughout this process of learning. for those of you who are still seeking god, spend 15 minutes being alone, away from your laptop, close your eyes, listen to soothing music while pondering about what you've done today. it does help to relieve your stress and you be a better yourself next time.
to conclude, i do care about my appearance, but i do think that inner beauty is a more important aspect to look at. i'd rather have a guy who's not great looking but cares about me deeply instead of a gorgeous guy whose giving me pet peeves all year round.
be brave, my friends! you're your own standard. no one shall change you coz you're who you are.
No comments:
Post a Comment