a question of ethics

i put my laptop bag on a table next to the power outlet at borders, went to the coffee counter to grab iced coffee, and right when i returned to that table, a girl just sat on the other chair of my table. a little distraught, i began moving my stuff from that table to the next table. she asked, "you're not expecting any company right? i need to use the power outlet." i told her that there's no one there, but i did put my laptop bag there and definitely need my personal space. the table could seat 2 people, the power outlet could host 2 chords, but i wanted to have the table for myself since i'd be doing some translation work and did not want to be disturbed. the cafe area was quite empty and there was another table close by in which she could use instead of mine.

a borders attendant immediately came to our rescue and advised that one of us could give in and use the sofa nearby while using the same power outlet. the girl told the attendant curtly, "she just doesn't want to sit with me." after muttering some silent curses, she left and i felt a little guilty.

i chatted with a guy friend on msn regarding this problem. he gave me another perspective: none of us was actually wrong. relative to my ethics belief, it's rude to just sit on a table that's been reserved without asking. in the girl's perspective, it's fine since borders is a public place (but the cafe is empty, for goodness sake!). i didn't want to hog over the 2 power outlets. she thought it'd be fine to share the table since i only occupied one of the chairs and the power outlets. i guess my tone was slightly harsh when i told her that i needed my own personal space. already offended, she became aggressive. my guy friend's right. things could go a lot differently if i politely told the girl that the TABLE's taken.

all the negotiation books i've read apparently have gone to waste. i shouldn't have ignited fiery emotions to the person i'm negotiating with. instead, i should have set a kind note and do a fair share of negotiation. again mel, quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.