singlehood

i was a content single girl until people started asking about my relationship status in the last few weeks.

i had brunch with ci sherly and kris when this hot topic was brought up. i told her about the joy of singlehood, though it sometimes sucks knowing that most people my age already have their own special somebodies. immediately, she told me about a great christian chat site in which i could potentially meet some suitors. i shrugged it off.

it started getting a bit unnerving when long, fink, and i had dinner in a nice basque-style restaurant in boise. fink has a wife, long has a girlfriend, and of course being the only girl there, the same relationship topic surfaced again. fink asked whether i would be interested in an american guy. i said probably no. and yes, he said as-a-matter-of-factly that some people did meet online and eventually got married. it ticked me off quite a bit.

no, i'm not desperately looking for anybody, though i wouldn't mind if there's a nice guy out there. i don't have the intention to be in relationship with a non-indonesian guy, for i think the culture gap is just too wide. i should consider myself fortunate to have 3 indo dudes at micron, but their behaviors back in college just turned me off. somehow, i am staying away from indonesian group here just because i am tired of all the small, empty, meaningless conversations. (yes, i am generalizing here. it's true that everything starts with simple topics that can gradually turn into things that can spark my interests. but i am an impulsive person who can be impressed upon first meet up. i am normally right in my gut feelings and i choose to be a close-minded person and put myself in seclusion from the indo community). i do want to get married someday, to somebody who shares the same visions as me, whom i can raise good kids with. it's an irony that i've limited my opportunities of meeting guys, yet i want to be adored by somebody.

tough luck. i know that i will continue cribbing about this subject for a long time to come, but i hope that my moodiness shall fade away and i can embrace what i have right now.

"do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of god without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life- in order that i may boast on the day of christ that i did not run or labor for nothing."
---philippians 2:14-16

oh lord, i definitely need plenty of your grace.