love is free

the incident happened a month ago. yet, it still leaves a deep trace of wound in my heart. will i be able to ever forgive han? i think i have done well in terms of forgiveness business in the last two weeks. well, i've abstained from gtalk or msn. the busy schedule doesn't allow me to sit down and do a lot of thinking. but when i dared myself to initiate a chat with him this evening, i felt very much hurt again. it's not easy to eliminate a person whom you talk about everything with in a snap of fingers. plus he calls from time to time, yet i simply can't let out anything personal.

it's good that he wants to maintain contact with me, though i've put a huge barrier between us. the 'happy easter' phone call was definitely an awkward one. but i must not be mean. i am still this close to sending back the gift that he sent on this year's birthday. that's definitely wayyy out of context and not very nice.

love is free. if we're meant to be, we'll be back in a matter of time. if we aren't, it's fine too. the thing is that the very technical me have thought of the investment i've made on this guy. and how much i've peeled all my outer skins to show him who i am as a person. these are sunk costs, but i keep on hoping that there are returns of this investment! again, love is free. no sunk costs or whatsoever. being bitter won't work. being overly critical won't work either.

i need to put my records on & let my hair down, just like corinne bailey rae's song.

happy easter, everybody! american twin sis just had her heart broken too. may the one above keep her strong.