ecstatic

there are the days i think i was at the lowest point of my life. like yesterday.

everything's fine really. even work's done accordingly. but it's my feeling. i felt so alone. i felt terrible that i might not be going anywhere this christmas break. without my family. without anybody close to me. and nug didn't help either. used the indonesian slang of 'you' and 'i' which i completely detested. he did it before. and i couldn't forgive him for the same mistake again. thought of ending this. thought that i am better off without guys. but decided to put it to sleep anyway.

this afternoon, decided to buy a to-go food from a nearby indian restaurant. asked for a veg samosa. the uncle gave me two. and he gave me plenty of briyani rice out there. wow. i was thinking i would end up spending 6-7 pounds coz my last visit cost me around that price. nah. it's just 5.75. and the uncle gave me a change of 50p instead of 25p out of 6. he even let me try a spoonful of indian sweet. i walked out, smiling. realizing that some strangers do really like me.

later, it's chemistry class. didn't really catch up with the class during an example. but i became quite a genius later on. solved all the rest of the probs. and classmates suddenly asked me to help them. i felt happy when i could be help to classmates. and one classmate commented, 'you're a genius!' which sort of made my day.

so, my life isn't all about downs. sometimes the little things in life really brighten my up. like 2 days ago. buncit's birthday.

sent him a card a week in advance. realized that i didn't put down his apartment unit on the card. thought it wouldn't even reach him. but guess what? he got it. on his birthday. surprising huh?

i am just an ordinary person. but i realize. my days are not ordinary. not many people experience the joy what i've been through. and i thank god for that. i really do.