mixing with the wrong people

all my life i always think that i am different. it's easy for me to make friends, but it's hard for me to find good pals who would stay by my side when i am down.

i always give my best to help anyone, even those who aren't close to me. but most of them just take advantage of me. so in recent years, i realize, i should just be inactive and let's see how many pals would actually turn to me.

since day 1 in london, i haven't found my clique of friends. at times i just feel so alone and trying to myself slightly happier, i subscribed to newsweek, a membership at a gym for a month and of course the online blockbuster. well, i did find a group of indonesians which i spend my friday nights with. but once friday nights are over, so is our encounter. they don't believe in paying for their shares, instead they believe in splitting the bill equally, something that i scorn on. (coz i believe in going dutch. you pay for what you eat) we planned a trip around europe together, but it ended up a disaster. the girl had some probs with her french embassy appointment, so she couldn't get the visa. now i am left with this myanmar guy whom i have no clue about. also, another girl, who showed much interests in the trip, was really nerve-wrecking. she said she would call me back if she decided to come. but she didn't pick up my calls. didn't reply my sms. and we had to resort to calling her using another number so that she would pick. and her response? 'i am still unsure. i will check back with you guys.' she hasn't called back till now.

ya, so i do mix with the wrong people all the time. i don't complain, coz i've become stronger over the years. i apologize for things that i am not wrong in, which is fine. my tolerance level is basically higher than most people, but...these few days, i realize, i do have some really good pals, who just don't take advantage of me.

han, who was on his journey from atlanta, called me up and asked how i was doing. told him i was stuck on the last question of my coursework. i probably would lose 50% of the marks for that coursework if i didn't do the question. guess what he did? he called up roommie, asked roommie to borrow the book at purdue's engineering library and he would get it from her and scan it to me.

and roommie? she immediately retrieved the book. took pics of the pages that i wanted...and when i told her she scanned the wrong pages, she redid the entire procedure once again, without any complaints.

so tell me, do you have any friends who are like these? i am really grateful to have them.

of course, i am not saying that they're the only 2 close pals i have.

there's pau2, whom, through our email correspondence, makes me learn a lot about life. she comes from a budget-inclined family and her lifestyle really causes me to look up at her.

there's kar ning, whom, i've written letters to since i was 11. she sends me christmas cards, chinese new year cards and lotsa more. i might not open up to her, but having a pen pal is such a blessing!

and of course those pals who always try to give their best to help me. zoo and tiffo. ning. berts. they never fail to surprise me.

thanks a lot, guys! i am really happy to have you as pals.

oh ya, remember the columbia girl? nora? i think we've become closer these days. i realized (through her) that it's not a custom that people divide the bill equally. we have to fight for what we believe is right. if she does become a good pal, i guess she's going to be the 1st american girl whom i can share my thoughts with.

ok, i have to go to class now. but i'll post pics of han's visit during thanksgiving and yesterday's christmas tree lighting later.