officially an adult

i'll be signing my apartment lease in 3 days' time. that day shall mark my first official day as an adult. why would i say so? i will be living on my own, paying utilities bills on their entirety (shall watch out how often i switch on the heater or ac coz i've never been too conscious about electricity usage), and yes, i'd have to decorate my apartment with new furnitures and appliances. i am finally committing myself to buying a ton of things that would make manassas my permanent home for a little while. am certainly excited since i've never lived alone unless if living in a dorm with no roommates is considered as one. i don't have to play by roommies' rules since i set my own standard and i don't have to do any "small talk" to the wall, which shall become next-to-be best friend. anyway, i do have a tiny speck of doubt. being an outgoing person has worked its best in having good relationship with all 25 roommies i've had in the past. i am just worried that i'll become a bit depressed upon seeing an empty apartment when i return from work, with nobody saying "hey!" or even the slightest hint of any human movement besides mine. i think i'm just so used to having somebody wherever i live that i know when to shut off whenever i need my alone time and open up whenever i am all fired up to talk about how my day went.

well, sis will be in manassas for about 3 months during summer to take her summer school. it will be another opportunity to have roommie, though you can't consider your sis as a roommie. our schedules will be total opposites, so i hope she won't disturb my sleeping time. meanwhile, i've started pre-selecting plates, bowls, glasses, and pillows that i would be buying for my new apartment. i guess you work harder in getting better things when you're financially more sane and you know that you'll be solely using them anyway.

it's snow storm season around dc area. the good news is that i am able to witness two completely different sceneries when i am going to work before the dawn breaks and when i am walking out of the fab when it's way past dusk. it's magical to see the greenery being replaced by pure white winter (though it's a pain in the butt to shovel off snow from my car and clear the pathway). i do hope that there won't be much shoveling that i'd have to do tomorrow morning. the weather report predicted that it will be snowing up 10 inches tonight.

anyway, a beautiful picture taken of micron's front sign during the snow storm last saturday. cool eh?

Thoughts on Love

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction."

--Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Wind, Sand, and Stars

very true indeed.

who am i?

stubborn (or determined?)
simple
open-minded
realistic
hopeful
sensitive
caring

i've been in this world for 24 years. i admit that i've obtained everything that i need at this point of my life. but why do i feel so burdensome for being too comfortable and not doing anything about those who're weary and poor?

i am still not certain about what i want to do in life, but i do know that i am destined to do something about social justice. i hope that the next few years will give me a clearer path of what really matters in my life. i can't pretend to be an all-knowing girl who knows how to do everything. it's time to focus on my specific talents and continuously develop them, knowing that i will succeed if i utilize them to full use.

new life in manassas

day 6 in virginia and day 2 at work. have yet to figure out what i'm going to work on since these two days are filled with orientations. the good news is that i'll have a day off tomorrow. will check out the toastmasters club at work and maybe do a little window shopping at ikea for the new apartment. oh ya, i'll be moving into my own apartment too. it's going to be a new adventure for i'll be paying my own bills and yes, i'll be on my own!

it's all starting to make sense now. as a person grows older, he would feel more lonely. friends have dwindled for numerous reasons: starting new families, issues that are no longer tolerable now in comparison to years ago, people withdrawing from genuine conversations, and the worst part of all, lack of interests in seeking for new relationships. i think i am starting to turn into "that" person. here i am, in a new town, starting a new life, yet i feel like i don't belong here. well, i should cut myself some slack for i've been here for less than a week. maybe i'm just liking the idea of a "quick fix" -- fast-forwarding to a time in which i've gotten along with everybody at work, in an organization like toastmasters, or maybe the indonesian community here. i know that i can't sit still and be alone. it's good that there's dear roommie around, but i need to find a group of friends too. i can't spend my spare time just chatting with friends online or youtubing for tonight show's funny clips. i think i am just expecting a huge learning curve at work that may distress me, so i choose to be idle and enjoy the nothingness of surfing the net until i realize that i'm bored and i need to get going.

i hope that i will get along with my teammates. heard that most of them are introverted thinkers, let me be the odd one out and be the outspoken thinker. :) (thankfully, as i grow older, i've learned to think before i speak. some things are better left unsaid rather than being out in the open while the situation turns ugly.)
by the way, am liking the weather in manassas. it's not freezing cold and i still can open my window during my drive to work.

wish me luck, guys!

2010!

new year. new career. new city and possibly a heck lot new friends! :) glad to be in the same town with dear roommie too. we shall explore indonesian restaurants in dc area huh?

i just happened to look at my 2009 resolutions:

1. read the bible everyday (hmmm...skipped on the days while i was traveling. need to get small, compact-sized bible)
2. eat healthy! meaning less fried food. more fruits and vegetables (nope. in fact, i eat a lot more seafood and drink a lot of sweet drinks. blame it on la and its unhealthy yet delish food variety)
3. lose 5 lbs! target weight: 115 lbs (almost. i think i weigh about 117 now. lots of compliments from cous that i`ve lost weight. job search made me eat less)
4. jog around the neighborhood once a week (nada. only jogged 3 times at the beginning of the year before calling it quits)
5. save some $$$ for future business prospects (lost lots of money with the meager pay from previous job and the little car accident)

i realized that i`m not even close to getting 75% of my resolutions done, so i need to modify my 2010 list to be more realistic. so, here they are:

1. be a healthier person. eat more fruits and veggies. exercise 2 times a week for 1 hour each time.
2. save about 10% of paycheck and give 10% of paycheck to the lord.
3. find a home church in manassas. be a blessing to others.

lotsa weddings this year. i may miss them, but i wish my cousins the best for their new lives.

glad that 2010 starts off pretty smoothly.

blabbermouth

i really need to know when to keep my mouth shut. bro shared with me certain things that our parents did which displeased him. i chose to tell mom and pop using my perspective in hope that they would see things in more conventional way. guess what? it didn't work out as what i've imagined. mom told bro not to change facts around.

things are running at slower pace here. and misunderstanding happens all the time. the young ones aren't really entitled to too many opinions. i want my family members to be as open-minded as they can be, but i guess it requires a bit of work. besides, i realized that my 81 year old granpa is getting more senile. :( he talks about anything that he remembers at that time and it's just sad he keeps mentioning he's getting older and he may only have 1 more year to live. he's been saying this in the past 3 years! instead of counting his blessings, he chooses to say that it may be his last year around.

it's really too much to take for 3 days worth of being home. am a bit worried about my work visa too, though i am positive that it'll be taken care of before i return. i am digressing more things, but i hope i won't become too strongly opinionated before knowing the development of situations.

journey is coming to an end

2 more days in west lafayette before i am flying home. phew! if it's not for god's grace, i think i won't be where i am today. 2009 has been a bitter sweet year (more sweet than bitter), but i think it's the year in which i've grown up the most. finished school, published a paper, served in church, experienced depression days due to 3 months of unemployment. nearly obtained a job when i was eventually informed that the job's gone. and 3 days before i decided to go home for good, micron gave me an offer on the spot.

now looking back, everything did make sense. when universal told me that the finance coordinator position wasn't available anymore, i immediately booked a one-way ticket home for 10th december so that i could attend bert's wedding on the 12th. i mentioned in another blog entry that i didn't really care enough to attend the wedding because she had hurt my feelings in the past. but i do know that it's a once in a lifetime event for her and i do want to be present for that special day. while already losing hope on micron because dear roommie told me that the engineers who'd be interviewing me would be off to lihai until the week i am scheduled to go home, the hr coordinator called to schedule for an on-site interview. got the offer on the spot and yes, i'll be reunited with roommie again (as in seeing her everyday AND sharing the same apartment with her. haha! good luck roommie! in case you forget since we haven't lived together since 2005, i am one noisy YET nice roommie.)

2010 shall arrive in about 3 weeks. bro's already married by then. i'll be heading off to virginia. hopefully sis can get a co-op job, so that she can have more work experience. the 12 hour night shift will be a new experience. hope will learn a lot from this job.

cheers and thanks for all your best wishes and prayers!

annoyed

i am so easily ticked off today. by silly emails from my ex-small group leader. by the unstable internet connection of the hotel. by questions after questions asked by a friend whom i haven't talked to for a while through msn. even by looking at the facebook profile of somebody whom i was so tempted to delete from my friends list. i think the lack of human interaction has caused me to be easily annoyed. when i am isolated from the world, my cheerfulness level is down to almost 0. thank goodness i'll be meeting up with my cousin tomorrow. wisconsin, here i come! it's going to be a super short visit since i'll be leaving madison the next morning, but it's worth it to see the second child of hers that i never get to see.

and the time zone change actually causes me to be insomniac. still wide awake at 2 a.m. because it's only midnight in los angeles. thank goodness i don't have to wake up early tomorrow morning.

so, what's next? 4 more states to visit. the flu is still persistent in my system. will say farewell to almost everybody that i know throughout my 6 year stay in united states. i think i will collapse when i get to the plane that takes me to jakarta. that's one thing i love about plane rides. i sleep easy and it gives me no reason to do nothing but sleep. :P

black friday

no, i am not going to shop today. more shopping means more junk that i may need to donate away. since sis is in town, we've been to a couple of touristy places, enough for me to make quick mental snapshots of los angeles before i leave on december 1st.

to tell you the truth, i am a little panicked. haven't started packing up yet but am determined that i only need 2 large suitcases and 1 small one for the final journey home. the gps has arrived, but i need to figure out where to stop between the long road trip from los angeles to west lafayette. i am aiming for a 10 hour drive per day (about 500 miles) which will be perfect for a 4 day trip to madison, wisconsin to meet with my long-lost cousin. all my scheduled stops are pretty tight, so i am praying that everything will go smoothly.

in the meantime, i am going to enjoy san diego with sister and small group friends. may have to see the body world exhibition again (sis hasn't seen it yet), but hey...i waited 3 years to finally see it, shouldn't subdue sis' enthusiasm to go see it.

what i'll miss about los angeles:
1. seattle's best coffee's iced vanilla latte (i know it's a chain! but it's in every borders that i go to. a good coffee to accompany my book)
2. duck noodle @ rodded. yum! the thai iced tea is the best i've ever tasted. the crushed ice will melt over time, which makes it not too sweet and it seems like an endless treat!
3. griffith observatory. breath-taking view of los angeles at night with the hollywood sign to your right.
4. trader joe's and whole foods! all about organic food! now a bit hooked with eggless egg salad too.
5. california pizza kitchen's pizza and salad. cheers to barbequed chicken salad!
6. blueberry milkshake from cafe 50's. totally fresh with real fruits. priceless!
7. just realized my list has been all about food, but i am grateful for all my former bosses. monica, julie, and sharona. amazing ladies who've allowed me to mess around with the systems to somehow make them better.
8. having friends from all over u.s. come and visit. daph from michigan. rosie from san francisco. janie, niyo and ram from purdue. agung who came from chicago. twin sis, nora from new york. you guys allowed me to sightsee these places where i wouldn't be if you weren't here.
9. ode to getty center! beautiful pieces of art work with good guide tours.
10. last but not least, a handful of friends who respect me: kelly, yuli, raskin, falstad, martin, and bita. i'll get to see you guys on monday (except for yuli) before i leave.

anyway, my flight to indo is scheduled to be on december 10th. pray for my safety! it's going to be a whirl wild journey in the next 2 weeks!

i still remember...

browsing through redondo beach library's cd collection, i found spice girls' very first cd. battling over whether i should borrow it, i finally went with my guts and took it. on the way home, i was singing along the girls' music almost perfectly without stumbling much over the lyrics.

then, i started to wonder what i was like in 1997, when this album was released. i was 11 years old, doing my first year in singapore as a fifth grader at moulmein primary school. i bought spice girls' cassette, my first one, after granpa bought me an aiwa walkman (haha! who uses that now?). i think i just bought this album because everybody in my hostel thought spice girls were cool. i remember having a bit of issue about my self-image. i was a little overweight (thus i was sent to the school's taf club program. for those of you who wonder what on earth taf club is, it's a weight watcher sort of training that deprives you half of your recess time to do exercise along with other fat kids), had the most horrendous demi moore boy-ish haircut (my guardian wanted all kids to have hair that's at most shoulder length for convenience), and was considered not pretty since i had darker complexion (well, still have, but am proud of it). but i guess god worked in me in a zillion other avenues. i did pretty good in school and i was not socially awkward. i remember feeling dejected receiving a chinese test grade of 110/200 and turning jubilant upon obtaining 158/200 for the second test half a year later. i always hang out with a good diversity group of people: gerald and iris, who are singaporeans, kar ning,the one and only hongkong girl i know so well, and ci angel, an indonesian girl whom i knew in chinese class. we'd have recess together (before i was pulled to attend the taf club meeting) and i recall being introduced by gerald to roahl dahl's books, which remain to be one of my favorite childhood books till date. and yes, i was well-known for being the stingy one in our hostel. couldn't really spend much on my pocket money considering mom only gave me $50 to survive for the following five months (i still got a dollar/ day taken out of petty cash billed to my parents).

wow. can't believe how much time has passed since 12 years ago. i have to say that being 11 years old wasn't too rough for me. in fact, it's the foundation of where i have found my confidence today.

friendship

i think friendship should go two ways. i give, you receive and vice versa. i don't appreciate it if i keep hunting you down and you barely make any efforts on your part. i make the trips to visit you 20 miles away and you only come to my area once. at times, you message me online, asking me how i am doing and telling me that we should hang out soon. the truth is there's no follow up on this hanging out thing. and i think i simply give up on you though you're a wonderful friend. i never call you, nor do i even bother to tell you about my life.

i have forgiven you, but i can't put you on my friendship radar knowing how often you come and go from my life even though we live within 30 miles radius. i think my nonchalance developed after i got traumatized by a couple of friendships in the past. the pattern's usually the same. i get hurt, apologize to the friend (though in most cases, i don't feel the need to. i just want to have a good closure), and move on with my life. call me a meanie, but i don't want the person to come back into my life to continue whatever we have left off. even though we may cross paths, i'll just treat you as another acquaintance whom i don't have to invest my time in. recently, one of these friends who've broken my heart the hardest contacted me again. she wanted me to come to her wedding a week before my bro's. mom wanted me to return home with sis 3 days before bro's wedding. if i thought of her as my good friend, there's no doubt that i will figure out a way to make sure that i can make it to her wedding. but now that our friendship's a little dysfunctional (made worse by me because i don't put in as much effort as she does), i may not fight as hard.

i guess i may not have completely forgiven these people. or maybe i just want to have a sweet revenge for a complete closure. a closure that shows these people how much they have hurt me in the past because they weren't aware of it. but come to think about it, it's not fair for them. i think they know they've made mistakes (proven by how they eventually apologized to me after these incidents). i just need to drop the heavy burden and heal over time.

getting back on track

i feel really productive today. i finally cleaned up my room and the bathroom, mopped the floor as well as the staircases, did my laundry, and most amazingly, hand-washed my sweater and my pair of running shoes! god knows how long i haven't washed those shoes. filthy and stinky. oh...oh...1 more thing: i finished drafting up keongmas' november newsletter, something that i would normally do during the weekends, a day before the conference call when it's normally scheduled to be due.

3 more things on my checklist that i haven't done yet: prepare for wednesday's interview, get my filthy car washed, and read the negotiations book. i was grateful that i got a call for a second interview with universal music group. it's for the finance coordinator position and i'll be interviewing with 3 execs separately. wish me luck, guys! i have made up my mind. if i don't get this job, i'll be packing up my stuff by the end of month and head east to purdue. there, i'll be passing bb to sis before returning home for good in mid-december. i am not as nervous as a month ago. i think either option works pretty well for me. what matters is that my short-term goal shall be achieved. i want to learn as many entrepreneurial skills as possible because i would like to have my own business in the long run. i would like to thank you readers who have been concerned throughout my job search period. you have given me so much encouragement and tips on how to do well in an interview.

anyway, i've been asking a few close friends the questions below because i would like to know how others perceive me. it's a sign of trouble if what i perceive myself as is not in line as how others see me. here are the questions:

1. did i leave a big positive impression when you first saw me? or did you think i was just another ordinary person that you meet?
2. do you think i am an ambitious person?
3. do you see myself having success in the future?

please drop your comments. i'd love to hear your honest feedback. :)

ode to uncertainty

"you're just depressed." said anni (my girl roommie) after i told her that i hadn't bothered to look at job sites these days.

"i'm depressed too. i just want to go back to thailand. i want to be close to my family." she continued.



"you've spent 5 months looking for a job, yet you haven't found it. you've lost a car, got another car with not much of a surplus from the sale of the old car, and you're in financial strain. it is worth considering to go home. you spend rupiah for food and living expenses and you can definitely get a job. everything's in dollars over there and it's not easy to obtain rupiah to pay for dollars." said mom after i told her that i needed her to loan me some money to pay off my debts.



"come with me to swe's (society of women engineers) career fair. let's help each other out. i don't agree with you that getting an interview is partially based on luck. the key is to network, network, and network!" encouraged nora, my american twin sis.



quandary. i think i've come to a point in which i am just resting it all to god. if i get an interview, it's god's grace. if i don't get one, i am too numb to feel any remorse. i don't mind leaving the country by december. i just think it's too soon to give sis the new bb. she doesn't know how to drive yet plus it's winter time when i'm giving her the car. can't even imagine how she's going to cope driving on black ice.

anyway, i am still keeping my head high. let's nail this swe's career fair and see how it goes.

positivity. i need it so badly.

lost my cool

after years of suppressing my originally short temper, i completely lost it today. it's been 5 months since our graduation and there's no sight of the diploma in my mailbox. called the registrar's office 2 weeks ago. the guy told me that all diplomas had been mailed out the previous week. if i still hadn't receive it by early october, i should give him a call. 2 weeks had passed and i had had enough. i went to the registrar's office and the front desk lady was just doing her job: telling me that the diploma printing company mailed all diplomas out and i might even get mine by november. i thought it was ridiculous. i told her off that i was informed i should have received the diploma by now. i asked her to look at my address record and it's the old address! i harshly told her that it didn't make sense to rely on an address i gave on the certification of degree 5 months before i graduated. people do move! obviously pissed off, she looked for my diploma in the office and sure enough, it's there.

while she was looking for yuli's diploma, i felt terrible. this lady might not be handling the situation well, but i was the one triggering this entire drama. i should have kept calm and asked her politely. maybe she would be more willing to help me out.

as i was about to walk out of the office, i knew that i had to apologize. i told her that i was sorry for giving such rude remarks, which probably made the end of her day a bad one. she didn't respond much and she probably wouldn't see me for the rest of her life. but boy, was i glad that i gathered up enough courage to say sorry to her.

and the bad news is that she's a good friend of yuli's ex-supervisor. i am sure she's going to share this to yuli's ex-boss. sigh. i don't like making enemies. :(

overconfidence

1 month after my last job interview, i've become comfortable in preparing for it. 15 minutes would be spent on researching the prospective company and looking at the job description for the position that i applied for. i would be especially cautious in questions like "tell me about yourself", "what are your strengths and weaknesses?", and "what do you see yourself in 2 or 5 years' time?" (for your info, yes, these are the typical questions i would get for the first part of the interview)

i got a phone call from forever 21 two mornings ago. appalled for i hadn't sent any resumes in the last 3 weeks, i immediately agreed to schedule for an interview the following afternoon (though i had to excuse myself from my current job to attend this interview. lesson #1: in this kind of economy, always agree for an interview that's scheduled on a time slot that's nearly impossible for you. it's already a blessing to even get a phone call from a company). did my preparation ritual that night. cocky like a peacock (or confident?), i walked into the corporate office, only to be surprised that the very first task that that i needed to do was an excel aptitude test in the accounting department.

the accounting whiz gave me a demo of what he wanted me to do (in less than 2 minutes, without any assistance from the almighty mouse), copying and pasting values and then doing the vlookup function. nailed the copying and pasting, but forgot the very last part of vlookup. argh! asked the guy about that and he gladly showed me how to do it. (lesson #2: never lie if you don't know how to do certain things. own up to your ignorance) merged the credit column to the debit column after adding negative signs to the credit figures (which took painstakingly forever, with a zillion mistakes down the road and panicky mouse clicking). i was positive the guy was wondering what a dumbo i was, so he asked me to see whether the consolidated debit and credit would sum up to 0. thank god, it did equal to 0.

the next task was to do a pivot table. man! i did learn this a few months back, but it was nothing in depth! as usual, the excel whiz showed me the demo of what he wanted me to do in a speed of light. stumbling the pivot table from the very beginning (asked him where the pivot table function was), i was very embarrassed. (lesson #3: don't condemn yourself if you don't nail the question. just tell the interviewer that you may have plenty of things to learn when you take this job) but he was kind enough to show me step-by-step of what i needed to do.

at that point, i knew that i had no chance to even be considered as one of the final candidates. 2 interviews with a senior analyst and an accountant later, yes, those typical "tell me about yourself" questions did come out, but my morale was already down to the size of a green pea. here comes lesson #4, i walked out of the corporate office with stride.

regret? yes. come on, who doesn't want to be a part of forever 21 team? (i love their clothing line too) any grudge? nope. god is good. before this interview, i knew the general job description of a financial analyst, but none of what it actually entailed. now, i know that pivot table and vlookup are important (and yes, i do know how to do both. bitter sweet lesson eh?). feeling motivated by the accounting whiz's little tricks, i am learning how to do shortcuts using CTRL or tab or ALT functions. they really make a huge difference in saving time to get things done.

so, the job search shall continue. and my current job is actually quite exciting. i get to see the day-to-day basis of 2 professions: a lawyer and a real estate agent. we'll see how everything is turning out in a few months.

soaked up the sun

for the first time after being in california for 2 years, i finally got to sit down and read a book at the beach. september sun did give good heat level. my book, why faith matters, by david j. wolpe, actually strengthened my belief even more, and i had a good conversation with bita. i have been as pale as i can get in my entire life (such an irony since i barely get out of the house though california's weather is always nice) and this summer's activities have actually given me back my tan. yay! it's also a good way for me to finish my book collection (which hasn't seemed to be done despite my summer resolution. i'm either too engrossed with movies or there are new books that i have to read). there will be no excuses to leave books unread if i am at the beach since the only 2 things i can focus on are the sea and the book.

so yeah, i shall go to the beach and soak up the sun even more. my time in california may come to an end soon, thus i need to treasure every minute of the beach view.

ignorance is NOT a bliss

some people were born with multiple talents. they know their school materials well and they are also good in sports. in my case, i am just another regular jane. if i study well, i can expect pretty good grades. if i don't put in any effort at all in the subjects that i am studying, i can be certain that i will get no better than c in those subjects. this concept can also be applied to sports. if i don't practice well, sure enough i'll be terrible in that particular sports. to me, it's actually a good deal to be a regular jane. my expectation is normally in line with the results that i am getting.

i am pretty definite that my natural gift is discerning right and wrong ever since my young age. my reasoning has been working for god knows when. not to be boastful, i normally make decision a couple of seconds after the opportunity comes and i usually don't regret the outcome. people (90% of whom are usually older than me) often come to me to ask for advice because they trust that i would provide them with sound judgment.

however, god shows me that i am not "all that" from the beginning of this year. everyone knows that i am more inclined to do more artistic things such as writing or cooking rather than trying out new activities (ignoring adventurous stuff like bungee jumping. i love these adrenalin-pumping activities). the immediate feeling is the apprehension that i may not be able to learn it well. and true enough, being the regular jane that i am, i normally don't do well at the first try. i tried mini golf, tennis, billiard, chess, and poker and everybody who have witnessed my first attempts definitely know that i am quite a slow learner.

but the good news is that i finally learned it the hard way that ignorance is NOT a bliss. i've been such a virgin in trying out games or sports that everybody else has learned back in high school. it isn't okay NOT to give it a try. i should not limit myself to just having one good strength and accepting the fact that i am not too good in other things. being a well-rounded person is definitely more advantageous than being an ignorant person. i don't want to regret the fact that i don't know how to do a lot of outdoor activities when i am in my senile age with lots of time in my hand.

i am opening up my mind and my heart. the fear of trying out new activities should be counter-attacked with the desire to appreciate them. who knows 5 years down the road, i can golf okay and challenge lil bro for a little chess match.

wish me luck!

sis will be in town in 2 hours' time!

for some reasons, i am feeling a knot in my tummy as i am doing a countdown for my sister's arrival. of course i am definitely excited to see her and to spend time with her. i guess the fact that i may be gone within 3 weeks after her arrival sort of saddens me. i am not that kind of sister who puts so many restraints on what she should do and what path she should take. i do give recommendations to her based on my past experience. however, it's her choice and i am sure that she will do very well. i am proud that she completed the purdue application on her own and got accepted into the school. i am proud that she has taken the time to find a dormitory to live for her first year of college. i am proud that she is doing her solo journey to la before i am sending her off to purdue in 2 weeks. i know that there will be multiples of tribulations during her time in college. i hope that she will get a diversified group of friends, use all the opportunities to find out what kind of career she wants to do in life, and of course have plenty of fun!

as i am about to get ready to go to the airport, i have several checklists that i am thinking about telling her during the 2 weeks she will be with me. however, i decided not to write them down. they're going to flow naturally whenever i have good moments to speak about them. i am not going to do the big sister's lecture. this is her pre-college trip and i sure am going to make it a fun and unique experience for her. say hello to mini golf, go kart racing, and six flags!

and i am glad that i got the time to share my thoughts about returning home for good with her. it's going to be a big change for me, especially since i barely spend 2 months in indonesia each year for the past 13 years. but if there's no job by mid-august, i have to start packing up and getting ready for the new chapter of my life.

i am having a hell of nervous wreck, but am not afraid to face the future!

gone too soon

"i always want to do music that influence and inspire people each generation. i mean, let's face it, i mean, who wants mortality? i mean everyone wants immortality. you want what you create to live, be it sculpture or painting or music or a composition like michelangelo said, you know,

"i know the creator will go, but his work survives, that is why to escape death, i attempt to bind my soul to my work."

i give my all in my work coz i want it to just live and give all that i have, you know, and it has to be that way."
---michael jackson in his last interview with ebony magazine in 2007

so long, michael! as what you've said, your legacy shall live forever.

whatever works!

this is the first woody allen movie i've watched. it's odd, but i finally realized why people love allen so much.

the story is very simple. a disgruntled older man, boris, who believes that he's genius, meets a mississippi runaway in front of his place. he gives her shelter and they eventually wed. the girl, who's still a little naive, obtains all his ideology about love and life, including his motto of "whatever works!" the girl's incredibly religious mom comes to find her after being left by her husband. she turns wild, sleeps with 2 of boris' good friends, and discovers her hidden talent of photography. the mom, disapproving boris' relationship with her daughter, also decides to introduce the daughter to a british actor, whom the girl eventually has an affair with. the girl eventually leaves boris. before that, the girl's dad comes to ask for the mother's forgiveness, only to discover that deep down inside he actually likes guys! he meets a man whom he has a relationship with.

how about boris? finding life to be meaningless, he tries to plunge down from his apartment for the second time of his life, only to find that he falls on top of a girl. yep, they eventually become a couple!

i know that the movie is a little bit bizzare, but the concept is expressed brilliantly! i love larry david, especially after taking an interest in seinfeld. the joblessness has made me an avid tv sitcom watcher.

4th of july in 3 days' time. do hope i could go to the family fun center to go kart and rock climb.